This morning I woke up early as usual [even though I didn’t have school] and went to boxing classes. I felt super pumped as I drove to the club because my body and my entire me has started to feel satisfyingly fit and healthy these days; so fit and healthy, that I’ve started to believe I’m capable of accomplishing anything. Corny, but I could care less. You see my mind’s standards are set so high right now that I’ve become more demanding when it comes to exercising. I remember when I started boxing; fuck, I was absolutely lame. My spirits were depressingly low, and all I could think about was how much it cost me to breathe while jumping rope and how dizzy I felt after lifting 5lbs weights. Shame on my fatty me! Now, I’m proud to say that the shame has evaporated. I don’t go out of breath when jumping rope, and I certainly do not get dizzy when lifting 5lbs weights. Today I discovered something that sent my confidence to the skies: I felt no discomfort while lifting the green weights – I think they’re 6lbs – so I stepped it up and lifted the blue weights! (If I’m correct, they’re 8lbs – I promise I’ll check the numbers tomorrow). How sick and awesome is that! I have to admit that I secretly congratulated myself. I’m building more and more muscle everyday!
By the way, people! I don’t know how I forgot to tell you, but my training club is hosting a weight loss contest! Yes! And it’s split into 3 categories: Women above 140lbs, women below 140lbs, and men. I’m not telling you under which one of those categories I stand because I’ll reveal my starting weight once I’ve reached my goal. What I do want you to know, though, is that from Monday to Monday I lost 2lbs! And my trainer said that I was one of the leading ladies!!! I have no idea what I’m competing for; I’ll find out soon. And I’ll reveal the final weight on Wednesday after I see my nutritionist because I go by her weight. I’m excited and not nervous at all because I know for a fact that my weight has definitely dropped to a satisfying number. I’m very confident and I’ll let you know how it went ASAP! J See, this is the type of attitude I lacked at the beginning of this process. I doubted myself. Now, I know not to go crazy because slowly, slowly I’ve started seeing results, and the faster you lose, the faster you gain. I’m letting my body slowly get used to everything so that it doesn’t rebel against me anytime soon! My dad told me two weeks ago that whenever I lost 10 more pounds, he’d take me shopping. Talk about motivation! I’ve already got my eye on a few pieces at the mall. ;)
Anyways, yesterday I had a bit of a neurotic attack during lunch. It was what I would call my mom’s idea of cooking a nice meal with her son and daughter while the latter’s diet sat in a corner and watched. “What are we having, Mom?” I asked. “We’re having arroz con guandú* and filet mignon.”
WHAT!!!! Okay, no. That’s completely out of line. That’s unacceptable!! “Mom, you know I can’t eat that.” I tried to contain myself.
“Daughter, use a break. You need to LIVE life and cut yourself some slack every once in a while. Fine, you’ll probably slow down your weight loss process by a few days, so what? You’ll remember how you enjoyed this lunch and that’s worth a lot too!” She snapped, leaving me no choice but to shut up and keep unpacking the groceries. You know, after all, I trust my mom… she knows what’s best for me, right? Mmm.
So we started cooking and I have to admit I was freaking out when my mom asked me to wrap the meat in bacon. I did it slowly and consciously. What was I doing… I was wrapping up my way to fat road. Yes, I was THAT neurotic.
It may come as no surprise to you when I tell you that my mind was feeling brutally greasy by then, so I proceeded to fix the salad in order to sort of freshen up my thoughts. Although not extremely dietetic, it was really good. It had broccoli, grapes, and baby carrots. Wait! It didn’t stop there. We were missing the dressing: One tablespoon of Parmesan Peppercorn Ranch (light) diluted in non-fat simple yogurt and a little bit of mustard. Yum, yes, it was yum! But I could only think about the amount of grapes the salad carried. I was being extremely compulsive keeping track of calories in my mind, and THAT was not good.
“Domi, when you eat, take away the bacon from your meat.” My mom told me, and that put everything back into perspective. I wasn’t pigging out. I was actually sacrificing, I was measuring my quantities, and I was eating balanced. There was nothing to worry about. So, we finally sat down to eat and the food was delightful. It tasted really good and I completely let go of my assaulting thoughts. After all, I did deserve it. What I’m trying to say here, people, is that we don’t have to be slaves to our own eating, even if we’re subject to a diet. The first few weeks, I was like a little robot taking orders from the diet plan, but now that I’ve seen results, and now that I’ve got control of my food (the bitch is no longer controlling me!), that’s when I get to play around and have fun with it. As long as it’s done wisely, then it’s absolutely fine. Besides, it was made with love by mom; you can’t go wrong with that! Lunch = passed and forgiven.
I case you’re wondering about my breakfast this morning, I had All Inklusive cereal with diet milk and a banana, + I gulped it down with black tea. REPLENISHING! However, I made the terrible, TERRIBLE mistake of drinking coffee in the middle of the afternoon. I’m still recovering from the headache and I seriously thought I was going to lose it because I was so shaky. I think my body’s somehow rejecting coffee and I can’t figure out why. I’ve promised myself to do some research on caffeine and keep you posted. I really want to let you caffeine junkies know what I’ve discovered.
So, how am I recovering from the rush? I made good use of something I bought this afternoon. I went shopping, and among the things I got was this ecousable™ thermos. It’s totally useful, it loves the environment, and it’s trendy. I got it at SuperDeportes in Multiplaza (the most famous mall here in Panama) thanks to a friend’s suggestion. I’m now overdosing on water…
*Arroz con guandú is rice with a very Panamanian type of bean. It’s one of the typical dishes here in Panama.
TIP: Girls, you should only eat 1 cup of rice per meal. Boys, well, I think they’re allowed a bit more.
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